Mar 14

Serenity and I spent the day at Megan's getting the apartment ready. We worked most of the day and late into the late. It felt good to be useful and to provide some help in making her place feel like a home.

The picture is from the day before when Serenity and Derreck attended a birthday party. It was a great party and both had a ton of fun. Serenity got her face painted and refused to wash it off before going to bed. What a hoot!

Mar 13

Ran my first Road Race today. Finished 29th out of 39 in my class. It was only 2 miles but it's a start. Took me longer to drive to the event than to finish the race! Of course, I was late. Big surprise, right?

Looped the route twice for training purposes to prepare for the Corp 5K scheduled for Apr 15.

Felt good when I was done. Exhausted but good.

Mar 12

Sour milk. I have a story about sour milk and the silly things a certain someone used to say. I also have another story about an incredibly stupid thing someone said on this day and my horrible reaction to the comment. But I've been told to be nice - because I don't do "mean" well.

I have learned over the years that once you say something mean, or incredibly thoughtless, you cannot take it back because there is always an element of truth to it, no matter how much you didn't mean to say it out loud.

But what I have recently learned since this incident is that it also changes the relationship of the two people involved. Oftentimes, not for the better. Pain manifests itself in so many ugly ways.

Mar 17

Happy St. Patricks Day.

I am wearing green today. It's an ugly shade and it has nothing to do with my clothes.

I hope it goes away soon. Real soon. Really, really soon.

(posting picture tonight)

Mar 11

It was the end of my work day. It was raining cats and dogs outside and our Corp 5K training had been canceled. I thought, take of picture of where you've been for the last 8 hours; one third of your day - spent in front of three monitors; writing, editing, working the brain cells trying to think of something original.

Don't get me wrong. I love my job. It's just that sometimes, when I go home, my brain is mush.

Mar 10

Family night out to dinner. There is a restaurant at the end of our street that opened recently and we decided to give it a try. Derreck, Serenity, Pops and I went right after work in hopes of enjoying a quick meal. It wasn't quick, the kids got tired, the place got hot and crowded.

I love this picture because of the angle and because it's the only one of the evening were Serenity isn't hiding!

Mar 9

Today is my anniversary. Thirteen years ago today I got married a second time to the same person. The heart wants what the heart wants - don't ya know.

It was a beautiful wedding overlooking Lake Tahoe. I wore a white wedding gown with a long train. We had a horse-drawn carriage ride around the town, in the snow. It was magical. People waved to us like we were royalty. I thought it was a dream come true.

Mar 8

This is where I spent my day. Sick as dog. Dizzy and nauseous. Eating crackers and sipping ginger tea. Watching pitiful tv and sleeping. Mostly sleeping.

Note to self: if you weed the lawn, use gloves and face mask. Better yet, hire a service. Then when the weeds don't die, you have someone else to blame.

Mar 7

This is my lawn - from the sidewalk - if you were an ant. Weeds everywhere. But the ones I hate are the ones that look like Dandelions. They have sharp edges that hurt when you step on them or walk close enough to graze with your ankle. They take over the lawn like a bad habit; first there's only one, then before you know it, they're everywhere, hundreds of them.

Sunday was a beautiful day. I decided it was time to take charge of the weeds in my life. So I grab a bottle of weed killer, mixed a concoction close enough to the directions and went to spraying the devils. Finished both the front and back yard. It felt good. At the end of the day, I was sure I had made headway into eradicating nasty things I didn't like from my life.

Mar 6

This is a magnetic sticker on my car. I wear it proudly. Of course, it's for Derreck. He was Bear Cub of the Month in December. There was a ceremony at school with certificate, cake, and everything!

When I walk up to my car in the parking lot and see it, it makes me smile. The kids like to pull it off and move it around. If you look closely you can see the finger prints. They think it's funny to pull it off and move it around. And I always put it back in the same spot. Really. What does that say about me? Something to think about...

Mar 5

Dinner with family to celebrate Friday. What fun!!

Family, I love that word. It’s all-inclusive. Warm, fuzzy, vague. Immediate family, extended family, people-you’re-not-related-to family. The people who stand by you no matter what life throws your way. Sure, you have difference of opinions, different priorities, different needs, and different political and religious philosophies. But in the end, it doesn’t matter, because you’re family. They love you anyway.

Mar 4

Today was a tough day. My mood was up and down. Frustration was high. Communication was off. I "listened" and cared and did my best to be supportive. But efforts were not reciprocated. I felt abandoned and used.

Then I wanted to be ugly and mean. But who does that serve? Surely not me, not the kids, not anyone dear to me.

I saw my sign in the kitchen and laughed. I was the one whining; being a cry-baby. And I knew - no one wants to hear it!

Mar 3

A trip to the dentist for Derreck. He was really brave about it. Told me he would have no cavities. Unfortunately for both of us, he was wrong. He had two. I suggested he get them both fixed while we were there to avoid having to come back before his next cleaning. Wanted to avoid the anxiety of waiting and fretting over what was going to happen. As it turned out, the five minutes we waited was equivalent to three weeks in 5 yr old time and the stress welled out of his eyes. But in the end, it was no big deal and Derreck was relived at how painless the whole thing was. I'm very proud of my big man! Yes, very proud.

Mar 2

How important have our cell phones become? If I leave mine at home, I turn around and go back to get it. I use mine ALL the time. Some days there's no break from it. I have a relationship that has terminated over misunderstood communication sent via text. I have another relationship that is made easier by texting.

There was a time in my life when I would look for phone booths at 7-11's to make calls while on the road. Now we have cell phones - truly a big change.

Mar 1

Every morning is different. But most weekdays I get to take Serenity, my granddaughter, to pre-school. It's always an interesting trip because she talks non-stop the whole ride. Serenity is pictured her with Ms Jackie, the academy director, and hiding behind them is Ms Jackie's daughter. They treat Serenity with extra love because of the extra special girl that she is.

Feb 28

Derreck, the light of my life, in his room, refusing to clean it. We are playing the "who can wait the longest" game. He says he loves his room this way -- surrounded by his toys -- a king surrounded by his gold.

However, I can only step on so many legos, cars, books, race track pieces, marbles, etc.

Feb 27

What a better picture with which to start off this project?! Here I am getting my hair done, changing the color, however subtle the change may or may not turn out to be. Ever notice that even going to the Salon is a bit risky? You think you know what kind of change you want, but how often do you leave the Salon with the change you expected? Is it worse or is it better than you had hoped? Change comes about in so many forms.

Feb 26

Happy Birthday to me! What a great day I had! The picture I picked for today are the people I work with. I see them five days a week, eight hours a day. They are wonderfully nice people who make me feel good; feel good about myself, about my work, about my priorities. Plus, I got to use the automatic timer for the first time!! We went out for lunch and Kitzzy bought us Italian Ices from Jermiah's. Later that night, Derreck and I went to dinner at Le Coq Au Vin with Cindy, Irv, Kelly, Brooke, Shelby, and Shelby's friend. It was an amazing day.